Friday, October 31, 2008

A Leaf (written November 5, 1990, but true today)

I wear a guise of green
which,
come autumn,
turns vibrant red or gold.
I might look beautiful to your eye,
but I'm dying inside.
Your branch holds me,
and though during the summertime
I accepted your grip
on my life,
even welcomed it:
seasons change.
The wind blows.
I long to fly in it.
Let me go.
Let me die.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

reality?

don't feel love, don't feel hate
i feel a little too little a little too late

don't save face or compensate
i feel a little too little a little too late

never thought i'd break my vow
we'll try to work through it somehow
but maybe we are different now

don't feel bad, don't feel great
i feel a little too little a little too late

don't want to nibble on your bait
i feel a little too little a little too late

never thought i'd break my vow
i don't know how i'm feeling now

so i'll try to get by
for the kids, you, and i
try to build it again
and stand by my man
if i can

or maybe it's time to play it straight
or say it's much too little, and much too late

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

let's do the time warp again

until this morning, i was under the impression that after this coming weekend, halloween was the next weekend. i was totally forgetting about a weekend in between now and then. wow.

i guess when every day is pretty similar and weekends are just another day, it all just kind of forms this amorphous time blob that i seem to suspend in like fruit pieces in a jello mold.

and on that note, maybe i should take a nap.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

looking forward to my winter of discontent

my little girl is confused by christmas decorations everywhere- it may as well be winter!

my heart is sick and i don't see it bouncing back soon.

my little boy will be one in less than a month.

i wonder when/if i will be one? i suppose i will always be at least three.

Friday, October 10, 2008

the constant caretaker

i do not get sick days
i am always at the beck and call of everyone in the household

it tends to wear on the soul...