3pm and i'll patch again!

no time like the present!

after a few packs and many hacks, i am back on track. (grooooan)

hope, pray, everyday.

today's reason to quit smoking: TO SAVE MONEY NOW AND ON FUTURE HEALTH BILLS

ok.....so.....hmmm.

i had 3 cigarettes (bummed) at the haunt on sunday night. not sure why, just wanted them and i had them. grrr. then i bought a pack. i have since bought another pack. what am i doing?

i really hate to say it, but i think that my man's coming off of his sobriety pact with himself made it easier for me to slide. i was really feeding off of his energy about that and when he lost it, so did i. not blaming anyone but myself.

i'm feeling now like i am not ready again- WHY? why do i like it so much? do i?

i'm going day by day and sooner or later i'll be better again.

todays reason to quit smoking: IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED...

f'in great!

feeling so great! the kids are great! my man is great! my best friend meg is great! my other friends and family are great! so proud of myself over this weekend.

i know i am off it. i can do this. i love making me choices.

today's reason to quit smoking: BECAUSE IT IS LAME

stay on target...

today was hard. lots of cravings and ravings. even with the patch. but no trips or slips. steady as she goes. i'm bringing this boat to shore, even if i have to make my own oars.

my fingernails are paying dearly. not a pretty sight- not that they ever were, mind you, but...damn. i have to start a knitting project soon, that will undoubtedly help.

today's reason to quit smoking: SO THAT MY KIDS DO NOT SEE ME SMOKING

still going strong

day 3 has dawned. no post yesterday due to lots of distractions from my smoke-free boyfriend. hooray for him and hooray for me. facebook friends have also been insanely helpful.

i'm not missing it as much as i thought i would. and not eating up a storm. so far so good. a touch of the smoker's cough clearing my lungs out. my newly acquired asthma inhaler helps.

right now, a pack of smokes in NY generally goes for $8. i'm going to track my savings to keep me inspired. so, today marks $16 saved. go me.

today's reason to quit smoking: FOR MY HEALTH

upon the occasion of smoking cessation

today, i hope i've kicked it for good. around 3pm on saturday, january 9, 2010, i had my last cigarette. i decided to re-start blogging to try to make it through this. constantly remind myself to stick to it.

i am lucky that i have found love. it will surely help carry me along. that, and the patch on my left hip.

today's reason to quit smoking: BECAUSE I WANT TO.

that is all for now.

i need a break

lonely in upstate
guess it's just my fate
but i didn't want to wait
or hate...any longer
i need a beer
the coyotes are near
the future ain't clear
but i'm here...maybe stronger

hungry in upstate
no food on my plate
but i can't hesitate
or berate...chin up now
keep the kids happy
steal some time for me
sing me a story
of glory...right now

between the copse of birch trees
and the crabapple tree
i know i can be
a much better me
between the city lights
and the cold cold nights
i know i can be
a much better me